Tampa Bay Psychologists Jeremy Gaies and James Morris were recently on the Divorce Without Destruction Podcast to discuss their book, Mindful Co-Parenting. The also discussed the interdisciplinary collaborative family law process.
Mindful Co-Parenting is an instructive, supportive, and easy to read book for parents who are going through divorce (or for parents who were never married but are coming up with a parenting plan/custody schedule for their children). You can find both Part 1 and Part 2 of the podcast, hosted by Dr. Garin Vick, below (Part 2 is after the jump):
https://soundcloud.com/divorcewithoutdestruction/dr-jeremy-gaies-and-dr-jim-morris-mindful-co-parenting-1-of-2
https://soundcloud.com/divorcewithoutdestruction/dr-jeremy-gaies-and-dr-jim-morris-mindful-co-parenting-2-of-2
Dr. Morris and Dr. Gaies point out that the vast majority of parents love their children and only want the best for their kids; yet the children’s needs can oftentimes get lost in the adversarial divorce process. Studies show that children whose parents engage in a high conflict divorce are the ones who suffer the most negative consequences. Even when both parents love their children, they can sometimes have very different views about what is best for the kids, and the fight over what to do can oftentimes be much worse for the children compared to just making one decision or the other.
Dr. Gaies and Dr. Morris suggest that parents pick the divorce process that is best for them. If they agree on all parenting issues, and have little to no assets and debts to divide, then mediation or a do-it-yourself divorce may be best for the family. If the divorce is more complicated, than for most families a collaborative divorce is likely to be the best process. Psychologically speaking, only as a last resort and in extreme situations (such as when there is severe mental illness or ongoing domestic violence) should parties consider going through the litigation process.
The doctors emphasize that there is a way to go through divorce peacefully, even when one of the spouses is seen as difficult. Collaborative practice oftentimes uses facilitators who are psychologists or mental health counselors, and it is unique in that it uses a team approach. Dr. Gaies and Dr. Morris reported how, in many of their cases, they have seen divorcing spouses provide emotional support to one another during settlement discussions. It is also not uncommon for one spouse’s attorney to reach out to the other spouse to provide him or her comfort during difficult discussions.
Dr. Morris, Dr. Gaies, Dr. Vick, and Adam B. Cordover are all members of Florida’s largest collaborative practice group, Next Generation Divorce.
As a side note, The Law Firm of Adam B. Cordover, P.A., is now a sponsor of the Divorce Without Destruction Podcast, and we are proud to help families learn more about the collaborative divorce process.
If you have questions about how your family can benefit from the collaborative process, schedule a consultation with The Law Firm of Adam B. Cordover, P.A., at (813) 443-0615 or fill out our contact form.
About Adam B. Cordover, Attorney-at-Law
Family Diplomacy is dedicated to helping clients restructure their families privately and respectfully. We practice exclusively in out-of-court dispute resolution, with a focus on collaborative divorce and family law, mediation, direct negotiations, and unbundled legal services.
We maintain this out-of-court practice because we strongly believe that family disputes should be resolved in a private conference room, not in a hostile and public courtroom environment. This unique perspective on family law stems back to Adam B. Cordover’s experience studying International Affairs in Washington, D.C., and abroad. Adam had the rare opportunity to work closely with ambassadors and diplomats from war-torn regions around the world. He traveled around the globe, learning from diplomatic leaders as they applied dispute resolution techniques to tackle seemingly impossible conflicts. It dawned on him: If these techniques can work in the complex world of International Relations, why not Domestic Relations and Family Law?
This realization lead Adam to create an exclusively out-of-court practice and to bring a more peacemaking approach to family law. In his previous role as a litigation attorney, Adam witnessed parties experience the negative emotional and financial effects that long, drawn out divorce battles can have on families. As a result, Adam has become a strong proponent of the Collaborative Process, where a structure is put in place so that life’s hardest moments do not have to be any more difficult than necessary.
A thought leader in the international collaborative law community, Adam successfully spearheaded an effort of the Thirteenth Judicial Circuit to draft an administrative order safeguarding the principles of collaborative family law (just the fourth such administrative order in Florida). Adam has been featured in or interviewed about collaborative practice by the Tampa Bay Times, Tampa Tribune, Orlando Sentinel, Miami Herald, Tampa Bay Business Journal, Florida Bar News, NBC, Fox 13, Bay News 9, ABC Action News, The World of Collaborative Practice Magazine, and Spirit FM 90.5. Adam regularly speaks at professional and civic organizations locally and internationally regarding the collaborative process.
Adam B. Cordover is president of Next Generation Divorce, a 501(c)(3) and Florida’s largest interdisciplinary collaborative practice group with member attorneys, mental health professionals, and financial professionals throughout Hillsborough, Pinellas, Pasco, Sarasota, and Manatee Counties. Adam is also on the Executive Board and co-chair of the Research Committee of the Collaborative Family Law Council of Florida. Further, Adam is a graduate of the inaugural class of the Leadership Academy of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals.
You can learn more about us and our services at www.FamilyDiplomacy.com.
Attorney Adam B. Cordover is admitted to the Florida Bar and the United States District Court, Middle District of Florida. His office is located at 412 East Madison Street, Suite 824, Tampa, Florida 33602.
ABC Family Law Blog 