Winter break can be one of the most difficult times for both children and parents to cope with divorce. We see Christmas and New Years cheer and celebration everywhere as we are dealing with our own internal and external stressors that make the mere sight of such images so painful. However, we must dedicate all of our strength to keep this period of time as happy and stable as possible for our children.
Risa Garon, a licensed clinical social worker, collaborative law mental health professional, and Executive Director of the National Family Resiliency Center, Inc., provides tips for co-parenting during the holidays:
- What can you as a parent handle? Be honest with yourself and how you feel.
- Be honest with your children about your limitations and what you can handle. Approach them in a way that doesn’t burden them with your feelings. Ask them what would help them during the holidays.
- Recognize that rituals are symbolic and often treasured by children and adults. If possible, try to have some of your family’s traditional rituals and include your children in creating new ones.
- Be realistic about your time, your energy and finances. What your children really want is a healthy parent who can share some holiday “cheer” with them. The thrill of gifts dissipates quickly; the memory of a special time together lasts forever.
- Work with your child’s other parent. Instead of competing with who will spend the most money on gifts, if possible, make a priority list together and either divide the list or combine financial resources and get one big gift you can each contribute to and give to your child.
- Consider your child’s age, personality and adjustment to the separation or divorce when planning the holiday. Many children totally dread going back and forth or may be spending their first holiday with both parents separately. Think about what is best for your child and not you and your extended family. Ask relatives to understand and plan dinners and brunches around what works for your children.
- Whether or not you share time with your child’s co parent and your child is up to you and your child’s other parent. Can you be civil to each other, can your children be relaxed and enjoy their time with the two of you? Will your child become confused seeing his parents together?
- Holidays do not have to be celebrated on the actual date! Celebrate at a later time if that works better. Make sure you communicate with your child’s other parent and work out how the holidays will be celebrated months before the actual date.
If you have questions for a Tampa Bay family law attorney regarding divorce or collaborative law and you would like to schedule a consultation, contact The Law Firm of Adam B. Cordover, P.A., at (813) 443-0615 or fill out our online form.
About Adam B. Cordover, Attorney-at-Law
Family Diplomacy is dedicated to helping clients restructure their families privately and respectfully. We practice exclusively in out-of-court dispute resolution, with a focus on collaborative divorce and family law, mediation, direct negotiations, and unbundled legal services.
We maintain this out-of-court practice because we strongly believe that family disputes should be resolved in a private conference room, not in a hostile and public courtroom environment. This unique perspective on family law stems back to Adam B. Cordover’s experience studying International Affairs in Washington, D.C., and abroad. Adam had the rare opportunity to work closely with ambassadors and diplomats from war-torn regions around the world. He traveled around the globe, learning from diplomatic leaders as they applied dispute resolution techniques to tackle seemingly impossible conflicts. It dawned on him: If these techniques can work in the complex world of International Relations, why not Domestic Relations and Family Law?
This realization lead Adam to create an exclusively out-of-court practice and to bring a more peacemaking approach to family law. In his previous role as a litigation attorney, Adam witnessed parties experience the negative emotional and financial effects that long, drawn out divorce battles can have on families. As a result, Adam has become a strong proponent of the Collaborative Process, where a structure is put in place so that life’s hardest moments do not have to be any more difficult than necessary.
A thought leader in the international collaborative law community, Adam successfully spearheaded an effort of the Thirteenth Judicial Circuit to draft an administrative order safeguarding the principles of collaborative family law (just the fourth such administrative order in Florida). Adam has been featured in or interviewed about collaborative practice by the Tampa Bay Times, Tampa Tribune, Orlando Sentinel, Miami Herald, Tampa Bay Business Journal, Florida Bar News, NBC, Fox 13, Bay News 9, ABC Action News, The World of Collaborative Practice Magazine, and Spirit FM 90.5. Adam regularly speaks at professional and civic organizations locally and internationally regarding the collaborative process.
Adam B. Cordover is president of Next Generation Divorce, a 501(c)(3) and Florida’s largest interdisciplinary collaborative practice group with member attorneys, mental health professionals, and financial professionals throughout Hillsborough, Pinellas, Pasco, Sarasota, and Manatee Counties. Adam is also on the Executive Board and co-chair of the Research Committee of the Collaborative Family Law Council of Florida. Further, Adam is a graduate of the inaugural class of the Leadership Academy of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals.
You can learn more about us and our services at www.FamilyDiplomacy.com.
Attorney Adam B. Cordover is admitted to the Florida Bar and the United States District Court, Middle District of Florida. His office is located at 412 East Madison Street, Suite 824, Tampa, Florida 33602.
ABC Family Law Blog 